Rabu, Januari 20, 2021

Building Up and Crumbling Down

I've submitted all of my assignments. Yes, what a relief. Now I should happily wait for my payment to be wired in to my bank account. But no, every now and then there will be revisions that I should make and re-submit. This alone makes me want to hide into the end of the world but the problem is the world has no end. It's a loop of madness that I can't escape from. It's just scary, you know? To have finished your work, have it checked and then sent back to you for your revision and approval. I mean, don't do that, please. Once I've submitted my task, I wouldn't want to see it again, let alone go through it again.

Now I'm also afraid of e-mail notifications. 

It's good that I have my freelance job to help me get by, and to feel like I'm rebuilding my life back, but at the same time I feel like I'm demolishing it on the other side. Like rebuilding while demolishing it all at the same time.

Argh, I really wish I have someone who I can talk to, and listen without feeling like they want to kick me to the end of the world where I can't come back to bother them again, but the world has no end, and it's a loop of madness. 

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